Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Is it ever ok to walk away?

Firstly....blimey!! I cannot believe that my last blog post was in March!! That seems insane! Such a lot has happened since then, and it would take several blog posts to give all the details.

The inspiration for writing this blog was actually a departure from another form of social media - Twitter. I had taken a month or so off as I was struggling to maintain a professional lid on my rage over my current job. The rage has not subsided, in fact its probably got worse....but I'm now starting to see the ill effects it is having on my life, health and relationships.

My stress and frustration mainly comes from ambiguity, lack of direction, lack of feedback and a frequently absent line manager who feels the need to micro manage. All of these things would be manageable if you didn't add on top of that a lack of development opportunity, a refusal to even discuss pay, training or funding for training and monthly performance reviews that are constantly rescheduled and then eventually cancelled at the last minute.

I am swimming through a foggy pool of mud that seems to be swallowing up my passion, motivation and memory of why I moved into HR in the first place. So my option would be to surely speak to my line manager about this, and explain how I am feeling with the hope of finding a resolution.....didn't work! In fact, had the opposite effect of now I am being excluded and my requests for clarification are escalated to make them appear to be a lack of intelligence or inability to do my job.

Ok...I know how this works...I advise on it all the time. If that doesn't work then the next step is to speak to my line manager's boss and clearly show I have followed the appropriate channels. Now, that line manager happens to be the MD....but that doesn't faze me. What fazes me is that I have been down this road before...with my last boss! I don't want to be known as the 'girl who cant be managed'.

So after 17 months in a job that hasn't moved anywhere, that is increasingly making me feel anxious, stressed, under valued and questioning of my own ability should I walk away? Should I hold my hands up and say 'enough is enough'!

What's stopping me from doing that......explaining to my next boss! Or in my next interview. What would you think if you interviewed a HR professional who wasn't able to sort out an internal team issue? We are the masters of mediation, the gurus of resolution...the all knowing and knowledgeable! If we cant fix it....then who can!